What is your automatic and immediate thought to a stressful event?
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) talks about how there is a great relationship between your thoughts, feelings and actions. A situation triggers the way you think and feel, which at the same time, dictates the way you behave. To have a better understanding of what causes your behaviors and emotions we need to discover what type of thinker you are and what are your automatic thoughts; the ones you have immediately when faced with a dilemma.
How do you normally react to stressful situations? Do you tend to focus on the worst case scenario, the most realistic one or the best case scenario?
In order to eliminate our fears and anxiety, we need to look for evidence that proves our fears are rational or realistic. We need to do a reality testing and look for facts whenever we experience a fearful or anxious thought. Anxiety is a perceived or imagined threat about the future . Many of us become anxious when we cannot control our environment.
In CBT, we use a chart (link copied below) called ABC chart that helps us better understand how we interpret the events in our life and how to dispute our unhealthy thoughts. In the 1st column you write down the situation that is causing you anxiety. In the 2nd column you write the Belief that the event provoked, in the last column you write the Consequence.
For example, the situation could be "asking your boss for a raise"; the thought or belief could be “he is not going to give me a raise and is going to think I don’t work hard enough to deserve it”, the result will be “I feel anxious. I am not going to ask for the raise”.
We use this ABC chart to help us stop seeing the event as the cause of our suffering and realize that it is the way we react and perceive the event that leads to our suffering and anxiety. You could also do this backwards by beginning by thinking about what happened to us (the consequence) and then thinking how you felt and what happened that created these thoughts.
It is our thoughts that drives and dictates our emotions and by changing the way we think, we can change the way we feel and behave.
Below you can find the link for the behavior chart that will help you identify, dispute and modify your irrational thoughts.
References:
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy: Valuable Advice on Developing Coping Skills and Techniques (Idiot's Guides)